A letter of confession
Sunday, May 29, 2005
He suddendly came under my blk and called me to meet him. He passed me a letter and went off....
It wrote
DEAREST MEIYA,
sorrie abt alst nite, actually i can sense e "weridness" too, but I dunno hw to break e ice. Lyk wat i've told u earlier, although we've noe each other for 3 yrs, it seems lyk we dun really noe each other n there's some reserved when we talk, as in we dun really speak up watz on our mind, it's juz not spontaneous.
Maybe it's juz mi, I'm not e type that noe hw to express my thoughts, be it thru words or action.
Nonethless, e last thing I wan is to lose u out of my life totally. If things dun work out, hopefully there wun be embarrassment when we meet up.
So tatz all I wanna say le, take care ya n hope to cya soon.....
Ys
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Sunday, May 29, 2005
Steambaot at bugis
Me shuxiang, clevland, me and yongsiang went for a steamboat in bugis. It is soo spicy and dat the soup could not be consumed at all.Had a fun time together. Initally decide to go cineleisure for a movie ( my bf is blood b) but end up the tickets were sold out. Went for a drink in NYDC juz opposite of cine..We chatted, I didn't really talked to yongsiang as there was a dread silence between us. We do not have any common topics, interest or anything. I had been trying hard to find topics to talked about, however no matter how hard i tried it could nt break the silence. We ended up speechless like after 10mins or less. We would than stare at each other, jus like a couple who had a heated argument starting a cold war. It is quite embrassing. So i would try my best nt to look at him or start any conversation wif him. I took a NR3 back home and he message meYS: Hey u ready wif e ans?Me:Aren't u uncomfortable that we got long silent pauses?YS:Abit la... Duno wat to say, or maybe it's jusz tat dunno hw to say outMe:Than wat u think we should do ? Its like v weird for a realtionship 2 be like this. YS:Leave it aside first, dun have to rush into things anyway.. See what time will bringMe:I dun wish 2 rush to a decision i will give u an ans when u r back. Lets give each some time 2 really think over lets nt act on an impluse k? U bck on the 16th ?YS: No, 19th. It's ok la.. Btw u on e bus le?To cut it short.... he actually had to go to taiwan for a 3 weeks training. He asked me out the next day b4 he check in to e airport. I gave a v lame excuses to decline him. Juz feel v uncomfortable to see him.
Sunday, May 29, 2005
Tao Hua Yun..
Friday, May 27, 2005
Should i be happy or disappointed
I had knew David for a few yrs at BBDC through Ryan's network
I still thought that there is "somebody" who would be my "gd guy" fren but after peroid of time, most guys who are close 2 me had a motive.
He called me around 9pm and told me to consider him
What's the world becoming 2???
The only guy which 1 thought i can be good frens wif turn out to be a guy who likes me 2 !
Why do every guy close to me likes me...
This is the 3rd guy over the week, even I who don't believe in these shit till i landed in it somehow..However, I was not the least worried, stressed or anything maybe bcoz i don't feel anything 4 himHe doesn't seems sincere and was the type of guys who had gone a little too desperate.Although i had known him for years i don't know him well & i couldn't understand if there is any love or chemistry between us.On the last meeting with him to BP he still pointed out to me the type of girls he fancy for.. of coz it does nt the least resemble me at allMaybe bcoz he really couldn't find somebody and it ended up me being his last choice... ?This is going NUTS..!
Friday, May 27, 2005
Golden Advice
Sunday, May 22, 2005
Your attraction to a certain someone is running on high at the moment -- which means trying to resist their charms is out of the question. Better plan to avoid them if you're not really, truly interested.Sometimes i had to believe in it..it seems hard I suddendly contacted xXxxxx had so mux of talk wif him Since FEb we had lost contact bcoz he wanna forget meBut i scared that he will go mad over me again........Tml i am meeting shenli, suddendly feel its a getaway from all these guys
Sunday, May 22, 2005
My Gosh....
Thursday, May 19, 2005
Another guy confessed to me today..- I was pretty shock... he told me that he can't keept it under wrap anymore.
- He had already fall for me since last yr.
- He suddednly remind me of the days which he woo me during my sec 4 sch days.
- Upon rejection and now he's back.
I can't believe it, it's jus like a love spell and I am e witch. 2 guys in jus days confessing in jus days. Phew..!`~~~- Jus like 2 guys falling into a dark pit. Felt sorry for them coz i really dunoe wat 2 do now.
- Although both of them didn't stress me for an answer i noe this can't go on.
- I can't be jus fair for em 2.
- What should i do now?
- Who do i really like?
- Who do i really want to be with?
- Its still a big ????????? for me .
- It's stupid to question myself yet the most practical way.
- When will my mystery end?
- ARGgggggggggggggg!!!....... 2 different extreme guys who will i choose or none?
Would i prefer my freedom?- Or i still LOVE him? [yeah i really love him]--> should i get over him and move on wif my life?
- Would he come back for me?? [ U noe the ans.... Stop being stupid]--> It's always hard to face the reality... Really....
Thursday, May 19, 2005
Love life...
Monday, May 16, 2005
Still thought one was over... and another came........
Really lost and confused
I don't know what i want
And i am afraid of hurting em over and over
I suxs at handling realtionship
Ever thought of trying it out, but i guess i will end up hurting them more w/0 truly loving em
I won't be committed and i want my freedom
I don't noe who i want
I don't even noe i have "love" or jus pure sympathy
I nv ever wan to make the wrong decison the thought of it dread me
No matter who i choose end up hurting either of em
i'm jus too indecisive or was it bcoz i jus dun love any of em enf?
Or maybe i jus can't find someone better to substitue him?
PLeaseeeeeeeeeeee let me find someone i really love or else more innocent would be hurt
Monday, May 16, 2005
