Sunday, June 05, 2005
After so many years of struggling, I finally decide to move on my life without him. I am uncertain whether i would stop thinking about him but i will definately try my best after seeing his mean act by ignoring me. There's is no pt clinging to a love that will nt blossom. Although we had many sweet memories but we had ended with a dead knot.
I am going to move into a new chapter of my life a brand new chapater. Without a night endless thinking of him. Stop looking at the toys and remb the sweet memories we used to have. That would be the only alternative. My love for him is so deep that there's no love within me without his presence. I can't love, I can't find my happiness I lost the warmth in me. I missed the feelings that made me more like a human. All these endlessly waiting was probably y i am still single. I can't stop myself from comparing him with other guys, maybe my preception of him is too prefect and i wouldn't wan anyone to intrude into my life expect him. That's v selfish mindset towards other guys maybe they jus came at the wrong time.
I am starting to learn to love. For the fear of getting hurt again, I decided not to crop myself inside the past history. Maybe it's juz fate that we can never be binding together. But i am still glad that i was given so many chances in life to just be together. It's no doubt that i gave him up, there's regret, remorse, and guilt in me. I had choose my fate, I made a heart breaking decision and i had to bear the consequences of my life without him. What more can i do? It's time i stop torturing myself and the guys who care for me it's enf... I am tired no more of crying over spilt milk. I believe i jus need a little more time, at least i promise myself to forget him. It's like 1yrs & 8mths since we kinda broke off.. It's really hard for me
