For the first time in my life i was so certain that i had finally got over him [guifu]. Can't even remb when it all started... but i got to know him ard feb.
All these yrs after he left, traces of memory are still with me. Y can't he just leave together with all the memories. It was yrs since i last met him. It was in the Nov 2003 which we last saw each other. And finally in the yr of NOV 2005 i finally let go of him. It took me nearly 2 yrs. But i am proud of myself, i can finally move on to my next phase of my life.
Since the day he left, he was a real diaster for me. He had been a strong pillar in my life and within just moments he was gone. I couldn't adapt to the change that eventually cause me to realise how mux i love him. I got to know him at the age of 17 and now i'm 20 his presence lingers me for almost 3 yrs. I miss the days with him, i would often stare at the toys he gave me and anything which reminds me of him. I tried many ways to forget him but it was always unsucessful, i hate myself for being so devoted.
It was till the day which i took out a evanascence CD to listen to the song "my immortal" its a "sad sad" song and i would always think of him. Every love song which touches my heart i would just think of him and him and just him. It was so tormenting after listening to the songs. But on that special night after listening to the song the person who came to my mind was not him.... For the first time i was amazed by my own feelings.
I used to browse at his friendster in a discrete manner not wanting him to know about my presence. However after that night i have totally forgo the urge to do that. And guess never will i do it again. Tonight i was browsing through my yahoo mail and stumbled upon the mail he send me last yr in april i click onto it and saw the name of his gf as part of his mail recipents. Surprisingly i felt nothing!! I used to hate him but i couldn't actually figure out the reason for hating him. I thought if i love him i wouldn't hate him. I couldn't understand my feelings towards him it was so complex. It was through later that i found out that the more u love him the more u hate him. But after seeing the mail, neither do i felt jealous over the girl nor hate him anymore. My feelings has gone back to neutral....... I'm really so glad.
Now when i think back of my past memories with him, it is not as sad as i previously tot it was. Instead i cherish the memories, I still miss him but the feeling of being "SAD" is no longer that strong and painful.
YEAH!!!! I"M SO HAPPY ... after typing one whole chunk of stuffs abt him i do admit that i miss him i'm still anxious to on how he is and stuffs. But the feeling of asking him y he left me without a word and hatred had gone completely. Its a pity that we still can't even become friends. But i knew we can never be friends as there is only love between us. I just knew it, the feelings were so strong. And that might be the reason for him to leave me completely. I dun blame him, instead i'm quite impressed about his love for the girl cheryl. This proves to me that he is really very "zuan yi" to completely leave me in order to start a realtionship with her. If not i guess it would still end up like an entangled love triangle. His move was mature but yet heartless. Nevertheless he still the guy that i had LOVED with all my heart.
Saturday, October 08, 2005

D.O.B : 3rd May 1985, Taurus

Currently pursuing a Bachelor Degree in Business Management in SIM.

Favorite Movie gene: Horror

Interest: History, Law, Paranormal, Nature, Traveling, Horror

Dream: The invention of Teleport & travel round the world

Past Affiliations: Kranji Secondary, Singapore Poly, SIM

Become a Millionaire

Get a MBA

Be Healthy

Get a Luxurious Sedan

Travel Round e World

Experience a white xmas with snow

Airborne,Scuba Diving & Skiing

Travel to Japan & Europe

Get married & wear a wedding gown

Take graduation photo

Buy everyone a gift & kiss goodbye

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